Did you hear the one about the country singer?


Photo of musician Hank Williams, Jr. in concer...
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It’s all over the news that Hank Williams Jr. recently compared President Obama to Adolf Hitler. For some reason the world seems to care what a country singer thinks; so let’s proceed to investigate his claim. Now before we join the screaming masses and condemn Mr. Williams Jr. we must examine the case to see if an argument can be made to support his claim. Using the incredibly professional looking table below I have listed all the relevant facts required for a thorough comparison. 

 

Hitler

Obama

White

X

Austrian

X

Funny Little Moustache

X

Likes to wear uniforms

X

Nazi

X

Dictator

X

Started World War II

X

Death of Millions

X

 Nope, I may be missing something critical, but I’m just not seeing it. Sorry Mr. Williams Jr. I don’t think you’ve proved your case here. Perhaps we should examine the issue a little closer.

From literally minutes of exhaustive research I have discovered this may not be the first time Hank Williams Jr. has made similar comparison claims. I have discovered unconfirmed reports with absolutely no merit whatsoever (out-and-out fabrication as this paper’s legal team insists on calling them) that Mr. Williams Jr. has compared other public figures to notorious dictators.

There was that awkward moment at the Country Music Awards when Mr. Williams Jr. compared Mr. Potato Head to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il. This was particularly embarrassing as everyone knows there are no potatoes in North Korea.  Who can forget that disastrous event at the Grand Ole Opry where Mr. Williams (allegedly) compared SpongeBob SquarePants to Stalin and kept complaining about his five-year plans? If Minnie Pearl hadn’t been already dead it would have killed her right there and then.

ESPN responded very quickly to the Obama fiasco and parted ways with Mr. Williams Jr. or if you’re in Hank’s camp he “quit”. I guess because he was tired of ESPN giving him tons of money for a really crappy lead-in to “Monday Night Football’ for 23 years; your choice of whom to believe.

Now before we get too high and mighty over the issue be aware that Mr. Williams Jr. is not alone in comparing various individuals to Hitler. Fox commentator Glenn Beck has compared Jesus Christ to Hitler (apparently he doesn’t see an issue with Jesus being a Jew, but hey it’s Glenn Beck). Writer Jack Hunter compared Abraham Lincoln’s actions with that of Hitler’s (that whole freeing the slaves thing is such a Hitler-like move). Don’t forget that actress (don’t snicker) Megan Fox compared movie director Michael Bay to Hitler (strange but after that she was replaced in the next Transformers sequel. Gee, some guys can’t take a joke). Finally, that well-known Mensa wannabe, Kanye West claims he is compared to Hitler, which I find a little strange, as I believe Hitler could actually sing.

Now as bad as it is being compared to Hitler imagine how it must be if you are named Adolf Hitler? Who in his or her right mind would call someone Adolf Hitler? Well, Heath and Deborah Campbell of Greenwich, N.J. for one. They named their son Adolf Hitler Campbell. Good job little Adolf has his sister JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell for company. Seems for some reason other parents don’t want their children to go to his house to play.

 Before we leave this issue let’s see what Mr. Hank Williams Jr. has to say now that a few days have passed. He says, “some of us have strong opinions and are often misunderstood.” Great comeback Hank, come home all is forgiven. This whole comparison thing has got me thinking, I wonder whom Hitler was compared to? I guess that’s for another column.

 Originally appeared in The Cascade newspaper

 

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