Zombies We’re People Too, Sort of


Former humans, Riley Hazelton, Janaya MacPherson, Ella Hazelton & Kassidy Nahirney
Former humans, Riley Hazelton, Janaya MacPherson, Ella Hazelton & Kassidy Nahirney

 

 

You know, no one blames you for thinking being a zombie can be a bit of a downer. We zombies get a lot of bad press, Yes “AMC” I’m looking at you. Don’t get me wrong, being a member of the walking dead has its advantages, such as you’re immediately eligible for a seat in the Canadian Senate. Not to mention in Canada’s current employment situation we’re grateful that any customer service department in the country will snap us up and where would do you think airports get their security screeners?

I know this is a big concern for you, but let me assure you we have absolutely no interest in eating your brains. I mean don’t you read the news? Ever hear of “Mad Cow“? Hello! Perhaps at times we’re not as picky as we should be about what we eat, but if you kept you cats and children in at night there really wouldn’t be a problem. So whose fault is it really? Perhaps you should be look in the mirror.

Now, I know for some of us personal hygiene is not as perfect as we’d like it to be and putrefaction can be an issue from time to time, but if you could refrain from vomiting right in front of us that would be appreciated.

We’re really not that different from you. We enjoy having social gatherings. That’s why we have so many zombie walks. It gives us a chance to “meat” the general public and to catch up with each other while checking out the local haunts. I know sometimes we get carried away, like Brenda losing her head for example. No, really if whoever walked away with it would contact Brenda she’d really like it back, no questions asked.